i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
