So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
