her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
