and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
