I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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