Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
