HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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