ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
did you just send me my own nude
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
