i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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