ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
All I want is dick and wine.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
