it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
