I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
