'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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