I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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