woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Randomize
