Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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