I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Alive.
So much puke
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
