If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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