you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were destined to go to rehab together
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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