Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
PANTIES FOUND
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
