Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
