so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
