Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Randomize
