There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
