who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
