he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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