Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How does one acquire holy water?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
