he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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