I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
