She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
