my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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