You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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