Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize