I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
