We're facebook friends in real life
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
