do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
