did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
