Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I will die if light touches me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
