I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
