so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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