I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize