I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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