I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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