tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
