i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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