I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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