You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
