I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
