careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
