Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
