dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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