My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
