I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize