ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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