I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
