Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
