I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
