i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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