She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
