I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
