honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
