I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
