she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
