Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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