i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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