I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
