Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
