the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
where are my eyebrows?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
