i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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