Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
